Dogs Who Don’t Have A Clue About The General Election


1. Unlike us tired and emotionally exhausted humans, dogs are blissfully unaware of the concept of politics.

“Elections? I don’t know what they are, I am a dog” – all dogs.

The words “May”, “Corbyn” and “strong and stable” don’t whirl around their mind’s eye as they try to fall into a fretful sleep.

3. And this dog isn’t worried about losing his polling card, because well, he doesn’t have one.

4. They don’t wake up to news in the morning about how cuts have reduced all our public services to rubble.

5. Nor do they care for shoot to kill pros and cons.

6. This little floofer here, he doesn’t care about the costings of Labour’s manifesto.

7. This doggo doesn’t care about strong and stable leadership, she just cares about strong and stable sticks.

8. This good boy here has never had to listen to, and comprehend, an interview with Boris Johnson.

9. This dog needn’t worry about the ramifications of this election on our public services and our global standing, post-Brexit.

10. This doggo doesn’t even know what diplomacy is.

11. This happy cloud has never once worried about the reliability of polls.

12. This good boy has never once had an irrational panic about whether or not he’s actually registered to vote, despite definitely registering to vote and receiving a polling card.

“Haha I don’t even know how to write, let alone fill out a form and exercise my democratic right” – this dog.
13. This dog didn’t defer from his usual viewing to watch the Leader’s Debates.

14. This dog hasn’t been following the “dementia tax” coverage, but HAS been following his tail.

15. This dog doesn’t know if their constituency is a safe seat or not, but they do know THIS seat is very comfortable.

16. This dog doesn’t stay up to watch the results come in while riddled with worry.

17. This dog is largely indifferent to the subject of corporation tax.

They’ve yet to form a nuanced opinion that factors in ramifications for both small and large businesses. They would like to go for a walk though.
18. This dog hasn’t been repeatedly told that Brexit negotiations will happen 11 days after the election, and for that they are in a state of bliss.

19. This dog has never watched Jeremy Paxman grill a politician

20. This dog hasn’t eye-rolled her relatives for their vastly different political opinions.

21. This dog hasn’t tried to convince his friends to become engaged in politics, as it’s their future too after all.

22. And this very happy dog has never heard the phrase “there’s only one poll that matters”. No wonder she’s smiling!